Parts Integration: Relationship with Self and Other
Healing the Fragmented Self:
Beyond Codependent-Narcissistic Relationships
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Integrating all our Parts
We Listen and Speak to our Wounds, Fears and Desires.
We come out of our Unconscious Cave into the Light of Day
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Listening to the outside world, our parents, teachers, friends and lovers about who we are and how to see the world can create multiple parts inside of us.
You might wonder, which part is really you? You might secretly feel afraid to speak out and reveal your true self. Invariably being ourselves means losing people who are interested in our performance.
We can ground and connect deep inside, listening to all our parts. Together, we find the threads of each self: integrating, accepting and healing them. Transforming our chaotic inner landscape filled with fearful voices into our own personal Dream Team.
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Doing a genealogy of our parts gives us the clarity and self-knowledge to ask the right questions. Asking the right questions balances our minds and lifts us out of stagnation, negative unconscious patterns and entropy.
Become whole, meet people in authenticity and find your path to a fulfilling life. Create divine sustainability within yourself. You are more connected than you know.
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What if security, for our unconscious, is an emotionally unavailable partner?
If love was conditional in our childhood, if we were treated as invisible, if we were valued only when we held the emotional weight of others, or treated as ornamental objects only gaining love when we performed for it… Our feelings were not valued, and we may replay this situation in adulthood.
We enter into relationships where we hold all the emotional responsibility as a Codependent or as an emotionally unavailable performer Narcissist. We may even take turns playing roles within this framework.
Our unconscious is trying to find healing and resolution. Our unconscious drives us into the same kind of relationship framework over and over again.
We can break out of this framework. It’s only a schema. Clarity, compassion, knowing our boundaries are the road to healing.
Welcome to an Integrated relationship to Self and Other.
Seeing our coherent self, feeling our wholeness and authenticity.
Through radical self-acceptance, humility and recognizing our wounds, we heal in integrity. We live in a narcissistic culture, and our relationships are affected by it.
A self-paced course, meant as a starting point or roadmap to be done with a health professional. Healing the Fragmented Self: Beyond Codependent and Narcissistic Relationships
Reconnecting to our emotions, building up our inner support team and noticing our inner light and conscious awareness, we move from margin to center.
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We have many parts, all trying to fly
into the light of our conscious awareness. Integrating all our parts, we hold the power of authenticity. We are more connected to ourselves than we realize. Carl Jung called this work shadow integration. In Toltec Dreaming it’s dreaming breathwork looking into an obsidian mirror. When we acknowledge, accept, love and integrate all the parts of ourselves we have more energy to achieve our goals. We become more honest about our needs in relationships. We judge ourselves and others less. We become open to new possibilities and life choices.
Do we judge our many parts?
Some of our parts are immature. We have unseen wounds from childhood and that voice can be innocent, wounded and naive about the nuance of the world.
Some of our parts only want to have fun. They want every night to be Saturday night, the moment is what counts. Often people with Substance Use Disorder have to reckon with this part of themselves in order to move past addiction.
Naked, whole, where can our central nervous system take us?
We have energetic and emotional technologies inside of us that are widely unknown. We can heal. Our minds can open up and incredible emotional space is created. More neurological connections can take place.
Integrated Parts work is guided. I share tips and tricks for remaining focused and engaged on the inner conversation inside. We breathe and relax, listening to the silent voice of our inner awareness. Our conscious mind connects to our unconscious.
Acknowledging hidden or shadowy aspects of ourselves gives us a boost. This boost can help us find the freedom to become a more authentic version of our combined inner and outer worlds.
You’re not segmented,
you’re realizing another perspective within is waiting. Whether you are alone, in a relationship or just beginning a new path in relationship with self and others, parts integration work will help you make healthy choices.
Feeling fragmented is a sign that there is more here for you. New paths emerge when we reconnect with all parts of ourselves.
If we feel that we are empathic, perhaps we need to feel as light as we feel when we are in love. We need to release the need for another in order to feel whole. If we feel the need to perform in relationships and isolate our feelings from ourselves, we need to release the mask and feelings of not truly living. In any oppositional relationship, we take turns in our roles. Until we brake out of the framework, we will not feel happy or free.
Many of us feel the way we are in relationships isn’t working. Having these feelings means you are ready to reclaim all parts of yourself. Create stability, sovereignty and alignment.
Self Paced, on your time
You’ll receive:
- Immediate access to all videos and 13 years of resources
- Four recorded guided energy and breathwork exercises to help you relax & connect
- Four modules covering Parts Integration, each organized to address your personal growth
- Exercises based on Parts Integration, Family Systems Theory, Somatics and Archetypes based on Jungian Psychology
- Mindfulness tools, tricks for focus, and tips on how to stay grounded
Designed for integrating your entire self.
Parts Integration is a game changer for women.
Love, sexual energy, money, confidence will all flip and begin to make more sense.
Benefits of the Parts Integration practice are:
- Prosperity. Creative flow wants move within us in happiness and mutually beneficial relationships. Our integrated shadow shows us our inner authentic self helps us achieve our goals.
- Manifesting. Using our mental focus to tap in and perceive from an integrated independent identity removes obstacles to the things we want to create.
- Peace. Feeling more whole, calm and stable. Authenticity is accepting we don’t have to know everything. This makes us more accepting and supportive of others.
- Winning. Transmuting your powerful hidden energy to rocket ship into confidence. Less comparison, more sovereignty and collaboration.
- Environment and self-care. Understanding we are connected by our shared vulnerable humanity. We will begin to care for ourselves and others in integrity.
I developed this course to share in an easy and digestible way what I’ve learned since 2010 about the Parts Integration process. I started this process while in recovery and mourning the loss of my sister. Leo Tolstoy famously wrote, “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in it’s own way.” I realized going through my own integration process I was raised to be fragmented. My parents were Baby Boomers, they lived for themselves. Like many Gen-Xers I was a latch-key kid, I took care of myself, yet had very confusing messages about my feelings. This fragmented identity is part of our culture and a growing movement of people are breaking free of this framework.
This course is practical. Paying attention to our internal world takes practice, self-compassion and an acceptance of impermanence. Journaling is for grounding what comes up and developing inner cognitive reappraisal.
The meditations will cultivate your inner light of awareness. You’ll notice developing how inner attention helps us become more mindful in all aspects of our lives. Finally, you’ll get to know your inner team and understand how to work with them. Working together, we can overcome obstacles such as feeling stuck and depressed, feeling anxious, negative habits or patterns and for moving into recovery from addiction.
The best outcome of cultivating your integrated authentic self is that it creates joy. You’ll still experience the gamut of human emotion. Yet more joy, openness and love will blossom as you grow into an emotionally integrated self.
Module Overview
MODULE 1
Me, Myself and I
Discovering who we are in alone. Developing the skill of listening without judgement to our inner world. The Buddhist concept of Equanimity.
Practicing:
- Inner Listening
- How do I feel?
- Releasing Judgement
- Grounding the body
- Who is the manager part and in what context do they change?
- Uncovering our wounds and unconscious drives
- Forgiveness
- Grief
- Self-Reflection and Self-Awareness
- Beyond confusion and into clarity
- Moving past shame
- Letting go of roles, performance and being needed
- Valuing ourselves and having healthy boundaries
- Creating space in our lives for the unconscious to change (not an easy or quick process)
- Being patient and loving with ourselves as the unconscious clings to an old way of being
MODULE 2
Parenting and the Inner Child
Discovering who we are in every context. Developing the skill of listening without judgement to our inner world when others are around. Listening to others. Honesty.
Fostering:
- Actively listening to others as well as listening to their actions
- Caring about the feelings of others while caring about our own feelings
- Empathy, diving into our own pain
- Are we showing up in honesty with the other?
- Grounding the body, Grounding judgement
- When does my inner team change?
- Who is the manager when I feel safe?
- Who is the manager when I do not feel safe?
- What makes me feel safe?
- Do my relationships and partner care about my feelings?
- Healing the past and making choices beyond my unconscious drives
MODULE 3
The Social Contract
The Social Contract and Maturing into Responsibility. The Golden Mean, Courage, Recklessness, Cowardice and Honesty.
Nurture:
- The Power of Friendship
- Growing and Experimenting with Identity
- Letting Go and Grief in Authenticity
- Beyond People Pleasing
- What are our needs in relationships?
- Communicating our needs to others
- Receiving non-verbal communication
- Recoding our self-talk
- How do I feel in a group?
- What makes me feel safe in society and groups?
- Do I care about the feelings of others?
- Where do we stand in the Social Contract?
- Where is my integrity within The Golden Mean?
MODULE 4
Intimate Relationships
Finding Flow, Virtuousness, Intimacy and Generosity. Making radical self-acceptance not so radical. Integrity, Balance and responsibility for self and others.
Allow:
- Intimacy, Safety and Courage
- Commitment and Unconscious Drives
- Integrity as daily habit
- Managing Inner Authority and Self-Leadership
- The process of receiving the needs of others
- Finding flow in balancing self with others
- Knowing our desires
- The power of saying no, and the power of saying yes
- Is there a balance of power in my relationships?
- Individuation
- Compatibility
- Building Relationships where our feelings matter
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